What's in a name?

I see a shop named 'Sperm' all the time. I suppose they sell menswear. It is not only amusing, it got me thinking about how I am not sure it's a great idea for a name ...you know, to do business. True one would easily remember it, but...kind of close to the 'taboo' line.

Speaking of which, I then recently saw another store that made me give it a second look, in sheer amazement because of the name. It said 'G-Spot Garments'. Supposedly for women. I mean ...honestly. (Harry Potter influence).

Would I actually tell people 'I got this T-shirt from SPERM...' and 'This top is from G-Spot!'.

Errrrr...

I don't think so! Not unless I was talking to people who would n't be aghast by these announcements, which number I can count off my fingers. What were they thinking when they named these shops so??

But then, I AM amused enough to consider shopping there. Besides, I heard SPERM's collection is very good!!!

Aayan Review

Aayan starts off on a high note. Right from the first scene you are taken on a roller coaster ride into the world of illegal trafficking of diamonds and pirated videos of yet to be released “Thalaivar” movies – a Dummy’s guide on money laundering, war trodden Africa and impossible and illogical stunts. The drama is so high voltage that you don’t even remember the cardinal rule of South Indian Cinema. Every movie has a heroine and six ill-placed songs.

Ideally speaking this movie doesn’t need songs. It doesn’t even need Tamannaah – double “a” “h” or not! However, judging by the response in the multiplex every time Ms T set the screen on fire, I can’t really blame the producers. After all this is all show business and they got to make money.

Sadly the same cannot be said about the other cardinal rule, the Six Songs Syndrome – which in this case has clearly tested the viewer’s patience and provided quite a few loo breaks for our perusal. I am not a great fan of song-less cinema and if you have Ms T with a body to kill for, you are well within your right to ogle at her and songs do provide a medium for that. However, it is important that the songs are conceptualized and inserted in the screenplay so that they don’t miss the context. This movie needs three songs. The remaining are absolutely unnecessary and act as power brakes to an otherwise interesting narration.

There is not much of suspense element in the story. Right from the first scene you know who is who and who will turn out to be who. The screenplay has so many holes that it is a futile exercise to even consider the remote plausibility of what is happening on the screen. Everyone is a caricature and has only one psychological trait – Either sugar sweet good or unbelievably bad. There is no middle ground at all. The only exception to this rule is the leading man’s right hand. He comes across as a real person and behaves like one.

A few years ago, when I started reviewing movies – I concentrated more on logicality of the screenplay and technical finesse of the production. However, over the years I have realized that Cinema is essentially an escapist medium and that it need not conform to the real life. People watch movies to get out of their daily grind. While some movies show the same exact daily grind in an interesting manner, the others thrive on the dreams of the average person. So when Mambo Number Five, who is an African diamond supplier, doesn’t use guns but lets his finest five thugs in a ten minute lengthy brawl with Suriya, with Suriya winning the burly brawl without upsetting his curly hairdo, you stare at the macho man incredulously and the idea of building a temple for Suriya in Tamil Nadu has already crossed your mind.

The film ends, as expected. The narration is strictly linear but the titles do talk about a “Non Linear Editor”. In fact I was all excited that I would be witnessing a Yuva or a Pulp Fiction. Sadly, this term is used to explain the visual effects that precede an in-place-quick-recap incident.

Ayan works because of the energy exuberated by the leading man Suriya, the sensuous Tamannaah, the surprisingly underplayed Prabhu in what can easily be one of his finest performances and last but not least – Mambo Number Five and his African den!

Mangalore - India

A part of a post does little justice to the magnificence of the gigantic idol of Shiva located on the banks of the Arabian sea. At 123 feet, it is the tallest idol of Shiva in the world. Designed to receive the rays of the sun throughout the day, Murudeshwara shines in an unparalleled radiance, delighting his large and eager audience.

After Saturday night’s rest, we reached the Murudeshwara temple on early Sunday morning. Apart from the main deity, we found two other deities interesting – Dattathreya and Jattigeshwara. After the darshan we headed up the stairs to learn and enjoy the history of the place. Right beneath the massive idol is a cave carved with murals narrating the origin of Murudeshwar (again in Kannada). If you prefer, there are guides outside the cave who would be willing to narrate the story with its engaging nuances in a language of your choice.

Our final and obvious destination was the beach beneath. With its fine sand and angular waves, it is easy for a bunch of travelers to forget their agenda and relax in the waters.

While we did not check out the Tipu Sultan’s fort in the vicinity, it might be a good place to check out if you have the time.


After breakfast at the RNS Highway Hotel we headed straight to Kollur.
Where to stay: The RNS Hotel on the beach. The air conditioned rooms can be a little too expensive at Rs.2000 per room for a day. Your best bet is the RNS Highway Hotel maintained by the same management on the way to Murudeshwara. Located 5 minutes from the beach, this newly constructed hotel has the facilities of a 4 star hotel and offers clean and fully furnished rooms (including TV) starting at Rs.300.
After Shiva, we headed to see Shakthi on the banks of the Sauparnika river in Kollur. It was in this Moogambikai temple that we waited for almost half an hour before we received the Darshan, despite having purchased special tickets @ Rs.15/- for a short-cut to see the deity. It is believed that Goddess Mookambikai, the unified form of Lakshmi, Saraswathi and Parvathi appeared before Adi Shankara in this very Kodachadri valley.

The lengthy queues, the gold plated crest and the “jerugandi” (or move quickly) orders inside the temple gives the impression that one is in Tirupathi. Being a part of the seven “mukti” sites in Karnataka, Kollur attracts thousands of devotees every day.

The temple hosts some rare idols like the panchamukhi vinayaka (five faced Ganesh) and a string of lingas such as the Pranalingeshwar, Partheshwar, ChandraMouleeshwar and Nanjundeshwar. More information is available here.

After a photo session at the Agumbe sunset point, our final call for the day was on the banks of the Tunga river, the beautiful Shringeri, one of the most prominent Hindu sites of pilgrimage in India. Words can do little justice to the striking scenic features of this place. There is little surprise that Adi Shankara decided to make Shringeri his home ground where he stayed and preached his principles of Advaita Vedantha. The Sharada temple in the premises houses the most pleasing looking deity bedecked in exquisite ornaments.

Nearby is the Vidyashankar temple, acknowledged as an architectural wonder, where the first rays of the sun corresponds with the zodiacal sign of the month that is engraved on its walls!

There runs a bridge across the river and on the other side is a dense rain forest. If not for our packed schedule, we would have loved to stay back in the lovely gardens of Shringeri where there are guest houses run by the temple administration. After an early dinner right outside the temple, we left to Horanadu, where we had planned to stay the night!

iPhone 3G 'Steve Jobs and “I am Rich!'

I have been reading a lot of articles about iPhone 3G these days. Somehow I can’t get enough of it. A couple of articles made me literally roll on the floor laughing.
Let me talk about them.

If you own an iPhone 3G, you can buy third party apps for it, through iTunes. However there is a catch. All such third party apps need to be approved by Apple first. And guess who approves these at Apple? According to a report, probably a rumor – It is none other than Steve Jobs himself. Apparently he cannot trust any of his deputies to do this highly skilled mission critical job. Hail the dictator!
Ok. Maybe we should not believe such preposterous rumors. What is evident is that the team which authorizes these iPhone applications is very small and is commanded by none other than Steve Jobs.
As a fall out of this, there is an insane wait period for getting your application listed on the App Store. It is around seven to eight months! There are hundreds of wonderful Apps and games out there waiting to be listed.
But maybe this is all for the greater good. When you buy an App from iTunes, you are assured that it is a great App and that it is not Joker! Yes? Hell no! A very creative App titled "I am Rich" has found its way on to the impregnable Apple iPhone Apps store. This happens to be the most expensive App ever – with a price tag of 999.99 USD. (Why this price? Because that the maximum price limit set by Apple for iPhone Apps).
All that this application does, is to display a bright red ruby on your phone. When you click on it, it displays a message "I am Rich." The idea is that if you have this application on your phone, it signifies how rich you are. You have spent close to a grand to earn that title.

What can be sillier than this? Guess what! Eight people actually bought it. Some of them were perplexed, it seems, because the application did nothing much. They complained to Apple whining that they didn’t buy it intentionally and that it was a mistake. Last checked everyone needed to enter his or her password and confirm the purchase on the App Store. So how they ended up buying the App "unintentionally" is a mystery best left to Sherlock Holmes.

Well, finally Apple relented and pulled the application off the shelf. It reportedly refunded the amount too.
My opinion? It is a very creative thought by the developer. If there are people willing to buy the application why take it off the list? The application has already undergone a screening test conducted by none other than Steve Jobs!
"I am Rich" may not be missed by people but there are a couple of other applications that met the same fate as this one. There’s an app that allowed your iPhone 3G to be used as a Modem so that you could surf the net from your laptop. This is in direct contradiction with the contract Apple has with AT&T. (Such a blasphemy! Intelligent Customers are taboo!) So the application was pulled out.

Question to Steve Jobs: How did it get into the App store in the first place?
The so called impregnable App Store apparently has a secret passage or two. Nothing else can explain the need for the "Kill Switch" that Apple put on the iPhone 3G. The phone calls home (Cupertino, 1 – Infinite Loop) periodically and checks a list of "Harmful" applications on the iPhone. If there are any such apps, the Kill Switch swings into action and kills the application on your phone – All this without your knowledge. (Till date, this list is empty by the way.)

Questions to Steve Jobs again:
1. If every application on the App Store is authenticated by Apple (Steve Jobs in particular), what is the need for the Kill Switch?
2. When you said "Harmful" who exactly is it harmful to? AT&T or the actual consumer?
3. What is the policy for killing an App or approving an App to be on the App Store?
4. If Apple can sell Apps to Indian Consumers, what is stopping it from selling iTunes music to the consumers in India?
5. Why disable Podcasts for Indian consumers?
Steve Jobs again is the talk of the town these days… apparently for non-technical reasons. His health has been called into question. The rumor mill is working over time saying Jobs has cancer. The investors are tense. The problem is, there is no strong second-in-line for Jobs. And if Jobs himself has to approve each and every App that wants to get on to the App Store, I don’t know what will happen to Apple in the post Steve Jobs era. I hope Jobs is doing fine. May he live a thousand years healthily. But may he remove the dependency on him as soon as possible.
A hunch at the back of my mind tells me that the iPhone 3G is a great entertainment product… Not just for the users but for the entire media world. They are not going to stop talking about it for years to come. And there will be many a rich "I am Rich" App that will entertain us – iPhonians or Not!